


What Is Right

by Prism_Streak



Category: The Order of the Stick
Genre: Also yes I'm aware elves don't sleep, Imma be up front this is about sex, Multi, POV Second Person, but it's not porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 17:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18642313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prism_Streak/pseuds/Prism_Streak
Summary: "This is better, you think, than drinking your problems away."Vaarsuvius hasn't had many intimate relationships in their life. Their expectations are a bit skewed.





	What Is Right

**Author's Note:**

> An exploration of something I don't see talked about much, at different points in Vaarsuvius's life. Obviously it's outside of the canon, or we wouldn't be here.

With Inkyrius it was always expected. The standard. You did it because you loved them, and they loved you, and it was what people who loved each other did. You'd reference it to other couples, in the inside joke way that was expected of you.

You never understood passion, you figured you didn't have it in you. It was overhyped, you never talked, or felt much of anything. It was always slow, and mindful, and polite. As it should be.

~~~  
His movements are anything but gentle. He's watching you, meeting your eyes in a way that feels like a challenge. He fucks like he has something to prove. And he probably does, and it's probably to you, but you can't bring yourself to care. You're too busy screaming your already sore throat raw.

You've never held yourself to a strong moral code, but you've always considered adultery to be beneath you. There were some things kept strictly inside marriage, and this was one of them. Up until recently. You're not sure what changed.

You almost wish Inkyrius could hear you over all those miles. They're probably waiting for you, calmly sleeping in your absence. Missing nothing. Your head falls back against the ground and you grab his arm. If this is what it's supposed to be, you definitely want them to hear you.

~~~

You lie awake, curled up on a bedroll. He's behind you, with an arm around your waist, sound asleep. Your hand rests on his, even though it's disturbingly friendly, almost domestic. The thought makes you want to throw up, but you don't have the energy. It's alright.

This is better, you think, than drinking your problems away. You'll blow him up for it in the morning, and receive something unpleasant down the back of your robes in return. But within a few days, your fighting will once again reach a tipping point, and the cycle will start over. There's no room in it for guilt over your spouse.

You hate him. But in these moments you hate Inkyrius more, when you think that if all those years hadn't been so lifeless, you might not be here now. He is, you're sure, the worst decision of your life thus far. One you wouldn't have made had all been well at home.

~~~

You can, and do, ignore these things all you like. You tell yourself your marriage is happy, you squash down the thoughts of nighttime on the road. The day has always been a different world, but you're not sure you prefer it anymore.

~~~

Only later, when you're signing the divorce papers, do you let yourself think maybe all of it wasn't such a mistake. Apparently you and Inkyrius never went together that well anyway.


End file.
